Many people think of friendship as a purely social endeavor, but we hold a different perspective: we believe that friendships are an incubator for leadership development — that the social and emotional skills girls develop through friendships form the habits of their personal and professional relationships for decades to come. It’s why building healthy friendships …
Have you ever felt like you have been expected to care for others at the expense of your own needs? We imagine the answer is a resounding YES! This is what happens when we teach girls that their primary worth comes from being likeable and polite to others. And this is why communication and relationship …
Understanding the social stress that can come from Snapchat’s new feature gives you tools for addressing it with your girl. 5 min read
Have you noticed that when we acquire something new like a car or a meal at a restaurant, we often think about what we want out of that thing? We think about what’s going to make us happy and satisfied. We don’t often think that way about what we value in friendships and relationships, and girls don’t …
Most colleges have an orientation period before classes start where freshman move in and spend a couple days getting situated, learning about the school, and meeting their peers. There are usually a lot of cool events that you can choose to attend at your leisure. This is your chance to make a first impression and …
I have four kids – my boys are 15 and 13, my girls are 9 and 5. While my boys nearly drove me into the ground as toddlers with their endless physical energy and constant running around, the girls are currently winning the race to dig me an early grave with their ongoing girl drama and emotional highs and lows.
If I had to choose, I’d take the physical exhaustion of boys over the emotional exhaustion of girls ANY DAY.
I wasn’t expecting the girl drama to start at such a young age, however. This morning, my 5-year-old stopped me at the door of her Kindergarten classroom with tears running down her chubby little cheeks. She told me that she was scared to go to school, that her friends weren’t being nice, and that she wanted to go home.
Flip through any women’s magazine and you will likely see a “How to tell if your boyfriend is the one” quiz. I remember always being seriously bummed out by those (I didn’t have a boyfriend until much, much…much later). What I could have used instead was a magical quiz that would tell me if my friend was “the one.” Could I upgrade her from simple “friend” to BFF? After all, that last F is a big deal! It doesn’t involve putting a ring on it, but it means we are in it until the end, right? But what if your friend isn’t right for you after all? Just like we can date people who will turn out to be incompatible with us, some friends can turn out to be not so good for us either.
It was a little over a year ago that I walked into an auditorium of strange faces. There were small clusters of people scattered everywhere – where do I sit? It was the first club meeting of the year, and as a brand-new freshman in college, I knew this would be a great opportunity to meet …
Dear Ms. Starr,
I wondered if you could shed some light on a concern. My 8-year-old daughter has become obsessed with various TV shows. Over the last month she has gone through a Suite Life of Zack and Cody phase and now she is watching Lizzy McGuire. She can’t seem to get enough! She seeks them out the minute we get home each evening and would gladly watch them uninterrupted until we drag her to bed. Recently I’ve become worried about the kind of messages these programs are sending about friendship and communication. For example, from the little I have watched of these shows, it seems the characters engage in a lot of trash talking with each other. I have tried to expose her to other types of shows, mostly PBS ones that are available online, but she strongly resists. Is this common among girls her age? Does it concern you as much at it concerns me, and what do you suggest I do here?
~ Too Much TV
Dear Too Much TV,
Sadly, I think that watching a lot of TV is the norm for many kids these days.
I too remember being smitten with certain shows (Go Go Power Rangers!) when I was growing up, watching them for hours until my eyes hurt or my parents forced me to do something else, whichever came first. Props to you for noticing the ways in which these popular TV personas may not be the best role models for girls when it comes to communication and what it means to be a true friend.
Dear Ms. Starr,
I am in the fourth grade and I have two best friends. We spend all of our time together and play every day at recess. My friends are always asking me what I want to do and they always ask me to choose what games we play. They both also copy things that I say and how I dress and do my hair. I really like being original and don’t like how they copy me. I also don’t want to hurt their feelings. How do I get them to stop copying me?
~ Concerned About Copycats
Although you may feel frustrated when your friends copy you, it’s also a form of flattery (meaning that they think you’re pretty cool). It seems like your friends really look up to you and don’t want to upset you or let you down if they choose a game that you don’t like playing.